Motherhood, let’s face it, it can be such an isolating experience. Your life is dictated by the difficult schedule of the little dictators/people in your charge. It can be really tough to keep any sort of social life when you have kids, whether you stay at home or not. It’s super easy to get stuck in the rut of the day to day and not branch out. These days, I keep hearing about finding your tribe. It’s become a catchy phrase and you see it on coffee mugs and cute t-shirts. Trendy as it may be, I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment.
Women need girlfriends. It’s a scientific fact. Google it. Men can survive without the connections made with friendship, but us ladies need more. But Amanda, you say, it’s hard to meet mom friends! Well, to that I say, life is what you make it! You have to step a little bit of your comfort zone to find your people.
Ways to Connect and find your Tribe:
When I was newly pregnant with my first child 5 years ago, I had zero friends who were knocked up. I needed some prego pals, stat! I was scrolling through the old What To Expect App, when I saw a Charlotte Mom To Be group. I joined it, knowing no one, and attended a dinner meet up at a restaurant. It was a little awkward to walk into such a large group without knowing a soul. I chatted with a few ladies there and felt comfortable enough to attend the next get together. Throughout our pregnancies, we got together, had Facebook discussions, and became true friends. That large group narrowed down to about 5 and we are all still super close friends to this day. Love you ladies, AM, SJ, BR, MB, couldn’t do mom life without you! All of this to say, find a local mommy group or play group. Picture below is 3 years of Halloween Parties with my Mom Group, forgive the blurry image. Photo credit: Amanda Maney
It’s all good in the hood! If you’re super lucky, you live in a community or neighborhood where there are other kids. We hit the jackpot in our new neighborhood and have several families to hang out with, with the kids. Look to see if there is a FB group for your neighborhood or community. Set up a public park play date. Go for walks in your neighborhood with the kiddies. You never know who you’ll run across on your adventures. Join the book club, garden club, social club, etc. I joined our neighborhood book club right away when we moved in. An optimistic idea, since my kids never let me read anymore, unless its Little Critter books. It was a great way to meet the neighbors, and I’m grateful for the group of ladies I’ve met through that group.
Go to some classes. Story time, open play at gyms, swim lessons, music class, the library, closest parks and playgrounds. Odds are great that you’ll run into another lonely momma who could use a buddy. Mothers Morning Out and Preschool can be a great way to make friends as well. I still keep up with the moms from my sons first year at preschool.
Everyone knows about Facebook mom groups. There’s some really funny viral videos right now about FB Mom Groups. I won’t lie, there are some groups out there that are nothing but drama, trolls, and mean girls (I’m guessing some dudes too). I was invited to a few national groups when I had my second child, and holy crap, were these chicks cray cray!!!! Ripping eat other apart on the daily, they made The Real Housewives look sweet and friendly. If you read a post or two, you’ll be able to tell immediately what kind of crew runs that group. I’d stay local, if the goal is to make friends. Choose wisely!
In Charlotte, we are so lucky to have the M2M Exchange (Mom to Mom) BST groups and discussion groups. I can’t talk about finding your tribe without mentioning M2M. When it was first formed, I offered to help admin on one of the pages. The amazing admins, Rebecca and Anna (our Anna), graciously allowed me to help, and I’m so glad to be a part of this amazing group of women. M2M makes Charlotte feel a little bit smaller, in all the best ways. I think we’ve all had that moment where we pass a mom in Target or at Chick Fil A and think “I think i know her from M2M”. We can support each other and help each other in ways we never could before we had this community. I have made some amazing mom friends through this group that I’d never have found otherwise.
There are lots of ways to make connections and find your tribe. Take a chance, strike up a conversation, step out of your comfort zone. Just don’t be creepy, lol! Take good care of your mom friendships. No one else can understand your hectic existence better than another Momma in the trenches. Having your tribe makes this crazy mom life a whole lot more fun! Once you find your people, love them hard!!!
How did you find your tribe???? Comment below about how you met your #MOMBFF and you are entered to win the adorable Mom Tribe loot pictured above, Shirts are a size medium. Giveaway courtesy of Heather Helweg of Heather’s Treasures firstname.lastname@example.org.